Monday, 13 August 2012

Spice GIrls

My avid readers (I must have some, surely) will notice I've been neglecting this blog and the reason is simple, The Olympics. Having barely watched any athletics in my lifetime and with no idea what a velodrome is, I am now an Olympics convert. I found myself watching the boxing with real interest. What on earth? Thank goodness it's over and I can snap back to my cynical, hard-nosed self.

I watched the closing ceremony last night with some trepidation. It's always a bit embarrassing when Britain decides to be proud. I just don't think we've very good at blowing our own trumpet and I can only assume we threw the Spice Girls in to trip ourselves up.

Now listen, back in the day I appreciated Spice Girls for the fluffy little pop ensemble they were. I may have seen SpiceWorld. I may have hosted a Stars in Their Eyes party and had all Spicies represented (with two Baby Spices no less)* but that was a long time ago my friends. Time has not been kind to the girls. It often isn't when you don't have much talent to start with. They hit a moment and milked it and good luck to them but why do we insist on a reunion, drag Mrs Beckham to a party she doesn't want to attend and then all cringe when they can't perform? Honestly. Does history teach us nothing? Reunions are never a good idea. Unless it's Take That but nobody could have guessed at that.

Last night they sounded ropey, some of them looked a little chunky (let's be frank here, Scary Spice is not ageing well) and we had billions of people watching. What must they have thought? I think Eric Idle saved the day but only just. Nuns on rollerskates!

Spice Girls had one good song (which they didn't sing as they went for a medley of mediocrity). I think I can just about still remember the routine to this.

It's time for us to retire Spice Girls for good and leave them in the 90s where they belong. Take That's golden career does not await them because they don't have a Gary Barlow. Speaking of which, what a guy. That's professionalism for you, although I recognised those costumes...

*I was Nana Mouskouri. Obviously.


  1. Ok, I listen to British music just as much as the next person, but I was never a fan of the Spice Girls. I mean, I was born and grew up in the 1990s, and the only music I remember is the boy bands I went ga-ga for. It wasn't until abotu 2000 that I discovered the Beatles and 2008 when I discovered the Rolling Stones. And I always though Victoria Beckham was kinda ugly. I never thought she was pretty

  2. I think they were miming on Sunday night .... at least Ugly-Sulky-Can't-Crack-a-Smile Beckham was.

  3. They sounded like they were a gaggle of lasses on a hen night. They were just missing pink Stetsons and a vat of Lambrini. When they were screeching 'Spice up your life, spice up your life, spice up your life' I wanted to rip my ears off.

    It could have been so different if they had done Who Do You Think You Are.


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