Romancing the Stone

On Friday I found myself at Dubai airport having missed my connecting flight home (thanks for nothing BA) and had to spend five hours there. There are worse places to be stranded that Dubai airport but I was exhausted and for once, didn't want to shop. So I waited patiently and finally boarded my Emirates flight feeling very jaded with life.

I perked up because Emirates business class is delightful. Properly decadent, you get your own little bar! I sipped some champagne and casually looked at the in-flight entertainment. New films are a given on all flights, I judge an airline on the classic films. BA is woeful at this (of course). American Airlines had Gone With The Wind which made up for the fact I had to ask for my glass of champagne. Emirates had dozens and dozens of classics and I may have actually squealed when I saw it had Romancing the Stone. When you are travel-weary and your eyes hurt because you are so tired, you don't want anything worthy or new. You want your old friends to soothe you. I settled down with my lunch and wine and revisited this absolute classic.

It's never going to win any awards and it's super-cheesy but I have always loved this film because of the two leads. Kathleen Turner is quite simply, wonderful and gorgeous. Michael Douglas is sexy, funny and divine. They cavort round the Colombian jungle, running into trouble and Joan is a timid romance writer sexually awakened by Jack. Danny DeVito is after them as well as other baddies. It's all most pleasing and charming. It rattles along at a fair old pace and it still makes me laugh. The Jewel Of The Nile, its sequel was nowhere near as good but I would still happily watch it.

Michael Douglas is a bit weird these days (he is 70 which is a bit freaky to think about) but for me, this is his best film. He is charming and sexy. Watch it if you don't believe me. And Kathleen Turner is always wonderful. God bless the 80s.

ETA: I'd already blogged about this, I thought I had, I did a search and it didn't come up. Anyway, it's so good, I've talked about it twice.

All about Grease

I was just in my dressing room getting ready for my new year festivities which involves not leaving the house, obviously. Anyway, Grease blasted out and it got me thinking:

1) I've only really done one serious post about Grease on here.
2) I've not watched Grease this year.

Back in 1978, when Grease was released, there were two cassettes in my mum's car - the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack and the Grease soundtrack. Life was good, it was all we needed. We listened to it all the time. Then tragedy struck, the tapes were taken to a party and never returned. I don't quite know why my mum didn't go and buy them again, we were not flush with money but times weren't desperate. She didn't and we were left without the music. Literally.

So how about I do my rundown of the Grease soundtrack in order of greatness? Why the hell not? I am going to leave out the majority of the prom songs because good as they are, they don't really count. Obviously I will include Born To Hand Jive because I am not a heathen.

In reverse order:

Hopelessly Devoted To You

Something has to come last. I am not a fan of this drippy ballad. Liv gives it her all but it's all a bit dull.

Beauty School Dropout

I want to like this more than I do and over the years it has grown on me. I love Frenchie, I love her pink hair and the bubble gum. Who doesn't love Frankie Valli? I don't know why this doesn't quite work for me but there you go.

We Go Together

This is so joyous - look at them! Nonsensical lyrics, you wonder how on earth they learned them. Also, some kick-ass dancing!

Sandy

I love Sandy because of Travolta's heartfelt singing and the dancing hotdog. We're now into songs I adore: What will they say, Monday at school. It still remains one of my favourite lyrics.

Born To Hand Jive

The greatest dancing sequence with some hand moves we can all try at home.

Look At Me I'm Sandra Dee

Total genius. I love Stockard's relish as she sings this and the lyrics are hilarious. That bedroom is still my dream bedroom.

You're The One That I Want

Still one of my favourite moments in a movie when Danny first sees sexed-up Sandy. It's just marvellous. A great intro to a song that never quite lives up to the early promise. Still, I am splitting hairs.

There Are Worse Things I Could Do

One of the saddest songs ever written. Stockard really is the star of Grease.

Greased Lightnin'

I love the way Danny jumps on to the table near the beginning, the choreography, the dream silver suits, the dirty lyrics. ALL OF IT!

Grease

One of the best openings to a movie ever. From the over blown Love Is A Many Splendored Thing to the opening notes of this. It's simply perfect.

Summer Nights

This will always be my favourite, it's fun and effortless and it has the best line ever: because he sounds like a drag. Never has one person been so wrong. Danny is not a drag!

Happy 2015 readers!

Gone with the Wind gifs

I was going to do a proper post today but it's my sister's birthday and this is her favourite film. So, Happy Birthday and away we go.

The Matrix

January has been about watching old favourite movies. I've watched Dances with Wolves, Last of the Mohicans (I still swoon over Daniel, I don't think this film ever gets old) and The Matrix. I've not seen The Matrix for a while and I am pleased to report that it's remains great fun. However, I hadn't appreciated in 1999 (I know, I know) how silly it is. The ponderous philosophical meanderings of Morpheus and the way he just decides to pull off all the wires and jump to the helicopter (after being near death or so it seems) seemed rather ridiculous to me. It never occurred to me to find this silly at the time which is worrying. Maybe this film was always silly and not a realistic alternate universe?

When I saw this at the cinema, I remember thinking 'whoa, what if we are all really plugged into a matrix?' Just like when I saw The Truman Show I thought 'whoa, what if I am on a reality show?' I dismissed that one fairly quickly as my life is way to dull for anyone to be interested in watching it. Unless me sitting on the sofa watching Coronation St is compelling viewing. But I really did think the matrix proposal was possible. I particularly liked the explanation for deja-vu.

Now I know I am not in the matrix and Keanu isn't going to save me. Boo! I love Carrie-Ann Moss in this, she is super-hot and very cool. Whatever happened to her? I also love the fact there are at least two members of the Home & Away cast in it because they made it in Sydney.

Having had the misfortune of watching two hours of The Dark Knight Rises recently (I didn't make it to the end, two hours in and I was still nowhere near the end of the godforsaken film), I am not going to criticise The Matrix. At least it's entertaining, stuff happens and it moves at a quick pace. Plus it has Keanu. We could all do a lot worse. And for those of you who watched The Dark Knight Rises, you have done a lot worse. Sorry about that. Don't tell me you liked it, I'm not interested. It was total rubbish and absolutely dull.

Dances with Wolves

When this film came out in 1990, yes 23 years ago, I loved it. I went to see it twice at the cinema, bought the soundtrack and basically wanted to be a Sioux. I've not seen it for years but it was on TV so I recorded it and watched it again. Despite what you may think of Kevin Costner, this is an amazing achievement. I watched it with TeenBoy who had never seen it before.

It is long. Really long. But it doesn't feel long at three hours. Yet again, I was drawn into it all. Two Socks the wolf! Stands With A Fist! Wind In His Hair! Kicking Bird! Smiles A Lot!A big debate was had about our Sioux names, no strong conclusion was made on mine but TeenBoy is Tickles Fish. The scenery is spectacular and the buffalo scene is still impressive. All was going well until TeenBoy said, Kevin Costner now looks like he should be in Bon Jovi.

Ruined. Ruined I tell you! I couldn't stop laughing and it's true, he does morph into Bon Jovi in an alarming fashion. This is a brilliant film and now I want to watch Last of the Mohicans where I have absolutely no complaints about Daniel Day Lewis's resemblance to a hair band member at all.

It's a very sad film and although it's roughly drawn with cliches - Sioux are all good and noble people, white men are evil - it's done in a way that you don't really care. And we have enough westerns with the white men being heroes anyway.

I still want to be a Sioux as it turns out, and live in a teepee and sit around a campfire. I wouldn't be so hot on the fighting and lack of running hot water though so just as well.

Top Ten male film characters

I've done the women, it's time to look at the men. This list was a bit harder to make.  However, after much deep reflection, here we go.

We start where all good lists should start, with Rhett Butler. Of all the male characters written, none are sexier, cooler or downright dashing as Mr Butler from Charleston. He is swoonsome in the book with his clean hankerchief, his hidden devotion to Scarlett and his ability to find all the latest French fashion. Clark Gable does a fine job of bringing him to the screen and from the moment you see him gazing up the stairs at Scarlett at Twelve Oaks to his final devastating walk down the drive at the end, we are enthralled.

Billy Crystal has never been better than when he played Harry Burns. He starts the film as an obnoxious, sexist oaf and ends up running the streets of Manhattan so he can declare his love for Sally. Billy is no sex symbol but somehow, as Harry, he plays the romantic lead beautifully giving hope to all short, bearded men.

Does one go for Dexter or Mike in High Society? I've gone for Mike because he is played by Frank Sinatra and you would never turn down Frank. He is divine in this, making all the right decisions, serenading Samantha/Tracy, dancing with her, diving in the pool after her and carrying her home but taking it no further "as there are rules about such things". Oh, what a gentlemanly time it was back in the 50s!

Johnny Castle. It's hard to believe an explanation is required but here goes. It's Patrick Swayze, dancing. He wears a leather jacket. He gets into fights. He's a teenage dream.

Ferris Bueller may have been the cocksure lead but my heart will always lie with Cameron. The unsure best friend who lounges around in bed waiting for his friend to make the fun happen. The guy who frets about his father's car and then pushes it spectacularly into the trees. Cameron is wonderful.

Danny or Kenickie? It has to be Kenickie because Jeff made him sexy. Paired with Rizzo, they are one of the finest couples preserved on film.

Buddy Elf! He smiles because smiling is his favourite thing! He knows Santa! I can watch Elf again and again based on Will Ferrell's delivery of some of the funniest lines. 

Bill and Ted who I am counting as one, after all what is Bill without Ted? And vice versa. They play Battleships with Death, they sing Poison to God. Bill and Ted are my heroes.

Life of Brian is hilarious and much of this is due to all the Pythons but can you imagine anyone playing Brian as well as Chapman? He's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy!

Billy in St Elmo's Fire. No contest, Rob Lowe as Billy is the best thing in St Elmo's Fire, and yes, I include Demi Moore's wardrobe and all the dancing. The one and only Billy the Kid is my desert island choice of male film characters.

Tell me yours.

Terminator 2: Judgment Day

Terminator 2 is one of the best action films ever made.  If you are sniffy about it, then watch it again and come back and tell me why. And I want a full critique with references.

It's a masterpiece of suspense with a kick-ass heroine in Linda Hamilton (whatever happened to her? She was so good in this), Arnie at his finest and the most menacing villain (in T1000).  Just thinking about how he melts and gets through those bars gives me sweaty palms of fear. The soundtrack is wonderful, it gets your heart thumping. Everyone is great in this but it's Linda's film and she should have won an Oscar.

Although the special effects in this were amazing, the film wasn't all about the effects. And I know I sound 101, but really, is it that hard to write a good action script these days? This film has heart with John Connor making a connection with The Terminator. My favourite line is "Come with me if you want to live." and my favourite scene is the motorcycle chase near the beginning because it's so nail-biting. Cameron knows how to do this stuff like no other director. You can watch the trailer here which is still a really excellent trailer by the way. I might have to go and watch it again since I can as 29 August 1997 passed without event and we weren't overrun by crazy machines set to destroy us. Phew.

Priscilla, Queen Of The Desert

This is, quite simply, one of the best films ever made. The spectacular scenery, the soundtrack, the marvellously witty script, the wonderful Terence Stamp in drag and Guy Pearce's muscles. I can't think of a single moment where the film drags, it's perfection.

All three leads in this are fantastically good, playing against type so convincingly. The revelation for me when I watched it was Guy Pearce, he's awesomely good; bitchy and flamboyant. Little Mike from Neighbours, who'd have thought? However, my mother's generation couldn't believe Terence Stamp who was so very male in the 60s and here he is a transsexual! It's all a bit much to take in. Hugo is fab too but then Hugo is always great.

From the opening scene of Charlene's I've Never Been To Me to Hugo saying at the end "it's good to be home!" Awwwwww. I just adore it. In fact, I need to watch it again. I have so many favourite scenes. I adore them dancing with Aborigines, I love the Alice Springs routine but I think my all-time fave is the scene on the bus to Mamma Mia right at the end. It's so joyful.

Enough already

First Dirty Dancing and now Point Break? Has Hollywood got a vendetta against the late, great Patrick Swayze? I am getting properly and righteously annoyed by this. There is absolutely no need to remake Point Break.

It's a great film as I have previously discussed.  It's perfection, there is nothing that can be improved about it (possibly they could replace Lori Petty but I'd even be willing to defend her if I had to). Are they going to find a better director than Bigelow? No. Anyone as beautiful and sympathetic as Keanu? No. Anyone as funny and playing against type as well as Patrick? No.

If it's made it will be super-violent, starring someone like Vin Diesel and it just makes me shudder.

This article made me giggle. I am thinking of starting a petition - Hands Off Swayze Movies You Philistines. Who is with me?