RIP Larry Hagman

The sad day has come, Larry Hagman has left us. As I said when I talked about Dallas, it's amazing he was still alive. The man drank five bottles of champagne a day. Nonetheless, I am sad to read that he has died and have just spent a few moments revisiting some of JR Ewing's finest moments.

As soap baddies go, nobody was badder than JR Ewing. And Hagman played him with such relish. This page is wonderful, full of the best quotes. My favourite is this one "I'm JR Ewing, I don't get ulcers, I give 'em!"

TV shows now are so well-made and high in quality. The scripting is realistic (well, I am overlooking Homeland), the production values are high, the acting is world-class but I know, as long as I live, there will never, ever be a show as entertaining as Dallas again. It was pure entertainment and 95% of that was down to Larry Hagman. I did watch a little of the new Dallas and even in that Larry stole the show. RIP Larry, may you wear your stetson in heaven. You will be missed.

I leave you with nine minutes of joy.

Aerosmith

Aerosmith is the perfect rock band. Look at them! Steve Tyler is exactly how you want a lead singer to be: flamboyant, charismatic and blessed with the ability to belt out the songs. They've had their ups and downs and fallen out and, of course, immersed themselves in drugs and been in and out of rehab. Well, I don't know about you but that's what I look for in my rock and roll bands.

I present to you some of my favourite Aerosmith songs. First up Love in an Elevator. The video is icky but the introduction to this song is one of the best introductions in rock ever. When I saw Aerosmith live (which I recommend, they were awesome), they opened with this and the crowd went wild. A wind machine was involved too. Perfection.

Sweet Emotion. One of the best riffs in any song. Again, the video is hideous.

(Dude) Looks Like A Lady. From the school of literal videos. This is so catchy. Aerosmith music is made for road trips across America I think.

Walk This Way. I love everything about this song and always have. Also, Steve Tyler's trademark dancing has never been better.

I've discussed Dream On before but I wouldn't want you to think I'd forgotten about it. It's simply perfect in every way.

My all-time favourite Aerosmith song is Livin' On The Edge. Again, I can't explain the video which has Edward Furlong in it - how bizarre! The way this song builds up is fantastic. By the time we get to 3:26 I am bopping up and down. I can listen to this song (although not watch the video) over and over again and never tire of it.

 

Am not including I Don't Want To Miss A Thing because it annoys me that people don't realise that Aerosmith has done so much better than this. Also, the songs in which Tyler included his daughter pole dancing just creep me out.

I think Aerosmith should do the next Bond theme.

Bond themes: Skyfall

It would be remiss of me to not offer an opinion on this latest Bond theme. On the plus side, it's properly Bondy and nice and cinematic and I like the little riff of the Bond theme in the background. Having watched the film, it suits it very well.

However, her voice annoys me. You can hear her breathing after each line. Maybe this is intentional and she clearly has got a good voice but it's so distracting. Also, stupid lyrics, I expect my Bond lyrics to be a bit smarter. When you are in the company of Carly Simon and Paul McCartney, you have to raise your game. Nonetheless, it's a good theme and it's far better than Sheryl Crow.

 

While I am here, a quick review of Skyfall. I liked it very much but all this talk of it being the best Bond ever is nonsense. It has a great opener, I loved the locations, Javier is a proper actor which made him a good baddie. But I found the showdown at the end in Scotland to be utterly tedious. 20 minutes of squinting at the screen since it had to be grey as we were in Scotland. All for a basic siege. Yawnsome. Not enough Bond love action either, I don't pay to see Daniel Craig for one snog in a shower.

Judi rocks though and I adore Daniel. It's very entertaining but not a patch on Casino Royale.

Bond themes: A View To A Kill

Googling for this image gave me this joyous visual of the picture disc. I had completely forgotten about picture discs and awwww, I got such a wave of nostalgia.

This was such a huge deal when it came out. I remember my best friend buying it in Boots. Yes, Boots used to sell music. The 80s really were fabulous. You could get your Constance Carroll lip gloss and the latest Duran Duran single in one shop.

This isn't a great song but then, this isn't a great film. In fact, it's a fairly dire film with an interesting cast: Christopher Walken and Grace Jones in one film? That's not to be sniffed at. I couldn't even tell you what happens, I remember Grace skydiving off the Eiffel Tower and something to do with the Golden Gate bridge. It's all very forgettable and not an edifying end for Moore as Bond.

However, the video for this is top fun. Simon Le Bon wearing a beret and pretending to be a spy!

The opening credits are hilarious, check out the neon nail varnish.

Bond themes: Goldeneye

I love Tina Turner very much. I think she's great in her mini skirts with her big hair. Rock on Tina. Bond themes should be cinematic and Goldeneye has a perfect introduction, just listening to it you imagine being in a cinema watching it all unfold. It's mysterious and sexy.

Goldeneye was a good film. I've not seen it for years but since I am having such a Bond revival, I might have to watch it again. I wish Tina hadn't retired, I miss her.

 

Bond... James Bond

All this Bond talk, anyone would think a film was about to be released. It's time to consider the various Bonds.

Sean Connery

Connery is the discerning viewer's favourite. It's easy to see why. He is delicious. My mother had a huge crush on Sean Connery and used to say, "ooooh those curly lips, divine". I know just what she means. I also think he had the great advantage of being the first Bond so he could make the part his own. Plus he did those wonderful early Bond films: From Russia With Love, You Only Live Twice and Goldfinger. He made Bond iconic.

He was tough and it's easy to believe women would fall into bed with him and that he'd know his way round a poker table. On the negative side, I'd point to Never Say Never Again. Why did he have to do this? I don't care how poor he was, BAD idea.  Nonetheless, if one forgets that (and it's relatively easy to) then he gives great Bond. 9/10

George Lazenby.

Let me be clear. I have nothing against Lazenby and he made a perfectly good Bond film. However, he is Australian. That is wrong that I simply can't get past it. At all. 5/10

Roger Moore

Roger Moore is the Bond I grew up with. It's easy to knock Roger but he's pretty good in the earlier films. Live and Let Die is a great film. And I have a soft spot for The Spy Who Loved Me. He certainly looked the part but he wasn't tough enough. I find it hard to believe Roger could really fight anyone. Of course, he suffered from the 1970s and the need to fill every film with stupid gadgets as well.

I look at that picture above and forgive him quite a bit. Roger was fun! 8/10

Timothy Dalton

Timothy was a perfectly respectable Bond but he never made a good Bond film. He was a little dour and lacked the humour of Bond. Plus he's called Timothy. 7/10

Pierce Brosnan

Ah Pierce. I do like Pierce. Not just for Remington Steele but for the slight cheesiness he gave Bond. Pierce looked the part, no doubt, and delivered the lines very well. I think he was the best Bond since Connery. And Goldeneye is a really good film. He was a little too suave though. Like Roger, it was hard to believe him in a fight. 8.5/10

Daniel Craig

Last night I watched Casino Royale again. Let me just say Daniel Craig rocks that film. He's tough, he's enigmatic, he's got the twinkle in his eye and he wears the clothes so well. And he's easy on the eye.

Yes, you're welcome. When Daniel fights, you feel like he actually could hold his own. Controversially I am going to say he is a better Bond than Sean Connery. Argue with me if you like but there you have it. 9.5/10

Bond themes: For Your Eyes Only

Sheena Easton, how have we not mentioned her yet? I have such a soft spot for Sheena. She contributed to the soundtrack of About Last Night (one of my all-time favourite soundtracks) and she got sexed up by Prince and she's fabulously 80s. Also, she was in Miami Vice!

I like this song very much. I think it's suitably Bondish and she sings it very well. The entire song is clearly trying to replicate the success of Nobody Does It Better. The film even opens with another ski chase but of course, nothing can top that magnificence. Nonetheless, a solid effort.

Bond themes: Goldfinger

Shirley Bassey was born to sing Bond themes. The drama! This is really an unbeatable theme, the lyrics are clever and it has the 007 theme woven in so it feels iconic. The way she sings "he loves goooollllllddddddd!" at the end is marvellous.

Of course this is one of the best Bond films too so it's apt it has such a classic theme to go with it. I love how the opening credits show some scenes from the film. All in all, it's magnificent and the perfect way to start a dull Wednesday. Sing it Shirley!

Bond themes: We Have All The Time In The World

This is a beautiful song, yes it's sentimental but Louis sings it so sweetly, I can't imagine anyone not being moved by it. This is from On Her Majesty's Secret Service, a much under-rated film due to George Lazenby only lasting for one Bond outing. I think it would be good to remake this one as it's a great story and is, of course, the film where Bond gets married.

This song suits the film very well, it's has a lovely feel to it and doesn't have the drama of some of the other Bond songs which is just right. 10/10 Mr Armstrong.

In other news, not long now until Skyfall, y'all seen the trailer? I am so excited, it looks excellent. I don't often get excited by trailers but I always look forward to new Bond. I've already booked my ticket.

Bond themes: Live and Let Die

Paul McCartney has been trying my patience lately with his appalling rendition of Hey Jude at the Olympics and generally just irritating me. Let's rewind the clock to one of his finest moments in a career of mighty fine moments.

This song is a great combination of soul with sing-along rock. It perfectly suits the film and is pretty close to a work of genius. I am not a huge fan of the actual film due to Jane Seymour who should not be allowed near any film or television drama ever. The woman cannot act. Seriously, I could do a better job. And I have a fondness for Roger Moore but he's no Connery. Nonetheless, it has its moments and I can't imagine a better song for it. I love "you've got to give the other fella hell!" Bond themes used to be so exciting. Let's take a look at scary eyes lady...