Burlesque

Where has this film been all my life? Is there anything more perfect than Cher and Christine Aguilera together singing, dancing and a small-town girl makes good storyline? I think not.

Burlesque has been out for three whole years and yet it has taken me until now to watch it. I wanted to see it when it was released but never quite got round to it. My sister insisted I should watch it and we all know she is always right. Last night, thanks to Netflix, I settled down to view and within two minutes I was hooked. It's so cheesy, it's the very definition of a Bad Movie We Love and if you've not seen it then I'm afraid I must insist that you make it a priority.

The cast is epic. It has Stanley Tucci. I love Stanley Tucci, he's never bad and there's something very attractive about him. Peter Gallagher makes an appearance. Kristen Bell. For goodness sake, James Brolin! All this and Cher too. Really, we are spoilt. Plus it has this hot dude:

Last spotted by me in The OC, boy he is looking good.

The storyline is paper thin but it doesn't matter. All you need to know is that Christina belts out song after song, Cher does her make up for her and there's loads of dancing. It's a gay man's dream of a film which makes it something I automatically have affinity with. Christina is pretty good in it since she's no actress but her hair is utterly bizarre. At one point they make a point of saying she will wear a wig for the stage which makes her look 100% better yet she still has this weird Barbie-like hair the rest of the time. I'd go so far as to say it's almost a distraction.

Good:

Weird:

My one complaint is there is not enough Cher singing. Nonetheless, it's a masterpiece of cheesy film making and I highly recommend it.

A Chorus Line

I adore A Chorus Line. I think it's one of the best musicals there is and I am very fussy about my musicals as I may have mentioned. Back in April, I went to see it on stage (with my sister of course, who else?) and I wasn't expecting anything particularly amazing yet it blew me away. I love that it starts with a great number. No waiting about for 10 minutes before you get a song, this gets right into it with 'I Hope I Get It'. From the top, 5, 6, 7, 8... and I just want to get up and dance baby. 

I love how it tells the story of the backing dancers and singers. I've often wondered how people end up doing that for a living. It just looks so hard and they don't get paid much. But this show tells us! They do it for the love. The love of dancing, of being on the stage, of performing! 

I often listen to the soundtrack from the original Broadway show on my way home from work and it makes me want to skip along the pavement and burst into song. So far I have restrained myself. My friend from New York says she loves this show so much that she wells up just hearing the opening notes. I am not quite that emotional about it but I understand where she's coming from. After all, everything is beautiful at the ballet.

The worst thing about this show is that they can't all make the final line-up. By the end of the two hours, you want them all to be stars. There are a couple of stand out songs for me, first up is Dance Ten, Looks Three. Here's Cliff Barnes' girlfriend singing it. The lyrics are fabulous.

I also love One of course. It's really best not to judge A Chorus Line on the film. Much as it's a bad film we love, this is a show made for the stage. You need to sit and transport yourself to Broadway. God, I hope I get it...

Michael Douglas

It's with trepidation I write this after the infamous Robin Gibb post however I think it's time to take a look at the career of Michael Douglas. I have always had a deep affection for Michael Douglas, he's been around making film after film all my life and there is something very likeable about him. I was trying to think of a film where I don't like him and I came up with nothing. I think he makes a film better by turning up. Which isn't to say he hasn't made some tripe. Black Rain anyone? And I'm not sure we needed a Wall Street sequel.

He was, of course, in The Streets of San Francisco which I am too young to properly remember but we've discussed the credits before. I've not seen The Coma for years but it properly freaked me out when I saw it as an impressionable youngster. I don't think I've ever seen The China Syndrome which is odd, I must rectify that.

My first real Michael Douglas awakening came with Romancing The Stone. I still love it, he had such chemistry with Kathleen Turner. I had a crush on him, I still have a crush on him when I watch it again. Jewel of the Nile is terrible but I'll still watch it for these two. I also like War of the Roses, it makes me laugh whenever I watch it. The line about wanting to smash his face in is hilarious.

Fatal Attraction. I can't actually believe I've not written about this, it's such a seminal 80s film. I've not seen it for years, I really must spend more time rewatching bad 80s movies. He is good in this, I can't believe how sorry for him you feel.

Let's not forget A Chorus Line! A Bad Movie We Love! Again, he is better than the film as a whole.

Wall Street.  You are not meant to like Gordon Gekko. I think he's great. Greed is good! Only Michael could have played him with such relish. The rest of the film is forgettable, not least because Charlie Sheen is so rubbish.

Basic Instinct! This was massive and why? It's a horrible film and I don't really want to include it but I can't resist showing a picture of Mr Douglas in his v-neck sweater.

On to much better fare with The American President, one of my favourite films which I never tire of. Aaron Sorkin warming up for The West Wing, what's not to love? Everyone in this is great and again, Michael shines as the saintly president.

Basically if he is in a film, I will give it a go. He's an excellent actor who doesn't always get the credit he deserves. And so I close this post with a very cheesy picture and no mention of his wife. At all. No. By the way, I think most of these films are Films I First Saw With My Sister. Ahhh, the 80s, we spent most of them in the local cinema.

Bad Influence

Having watched Top Gun last night, my mood was set for a Bad Movie We Love. Also, my sister was with me and after a work out and then a long walk, we felt obliged to snuggle on to a sofa each and watch something cheesy. I bought this DVD ages ago and it was on my list to watch in 2012 but every time I suggested it, TeenBoy changed the subject. I can't imagine why.

So today we popped it on and sat back. Have you seen this? Have you? James Spader, Rob Lowe and Marcia Cross no less! It was shaping up to a classic of our time. I had seen this years ago but I couldn't remember much about it. What can I say? I enjoyed it far more than my sister who I suspect dozed through some key plot points. It's preposterous but no less enjoyable for it. It's mercifully 1 hour and 30 minutes long and it's unintentionally hilarious. It's not in the league of Masquerade but if you're in the market for some bad fashion, bad hair and people dragging dead bodies around in an apparently empty Los Angeles, then this is your film.

Power Ballads - Wind Beneath My Wings, Bette Midler

We come to one of the great classics of the genre with Wind Beneath My Wings by the Divine Miss M. A song written by Willie Nelson about his wife, Bette makes it her own. I love Bette Midler, who doesn't love Bette Midler? After all, she gave Barry Manilow his big break.

I heard this song on the radio this morning. It's a song that will be played on the radio for the rest of time isn't it? She sings it beautifully. Beaches is a bit of a Bad Film We Love but I defy anyone not to shed a tear through it. *sniffle*

So here it is, I can't find the video, only this so you have to get to about a minute before the song starts. Before that you can look Barbara Hershey being 'movie glam sick'.

Neil Diamond

The time has come my friends to talk about Neil. Close observers will notice that I am a fan of power ballads, a fan of belt 'em out songstars and a fan of the 70s. Therefore with Neil we have a perfect storm, if you will, of my favourite things. We can add to that parents who may not have agreed on much but both loved Neil Diamond. My dad used to play Neil Diamond in the car most of the time (when he wasn't playing Tubular Bells or Chic that is) and I don't think many can resist the lure of Neil, especially when it is administered at an early age. My mum also loved Neil and always had to do a little dance if Cracklin' Rosie came on. Who doesn't?

So Mr Diamond, your time has come to have the Teenager spotlight on you. Listening to Neil is like taking a long hot bath, putting on fluffy socks, watching your favourite TV show on a boxset and never having to go to work. Yes, he is that good. He's even better live and he's touring the country this summer so my advice is to buy your tickets now if you've not left it too late. I find him the ultimate comforter. A bad day can be fixed by a listening of Holly Holy. A sad heart can find solace in Love on the Rocks. A rainy day can always be improved by Forever in Blue Jeans. And a crisp autumn morning just calls for September Morn to be played.

MrD has so many hits and so here, for your perusal are my top 10 Neil songs:

10. Remember Me. It's not often played but I have a soft spot for this ballad.
9. I Am I Said. Slightly crazy lyrics but Neil sings it like his life depends on it.
8. I'm a Believer. Still prefer Neil's version to The Monkees.
7. Holly Holy. I love how this builds up.
6. Love on the Rocks. Ain't no big surprise.
5. America. Every time that flag's unfurled.
4. Hello Again. A power ballad of epic proportions.
3. Cracklin' Rosie. We're now in territory where surely nobody could disagree?
2. Sweet Caroline. My mum's song and one that would be on my desert island with me.
1. Forever in Blue Jeans. That's also coming to the island with me.

And I've not had room for You Don't Bring Me Flowers, September Morn, Solitary Man, Kentucky Woman or any of his recent hits. Oh, it's simply impossible to pick 10.

No discussion of Neil is complete without reference to The Jazz Singer. It is the very definition of a Bad Movie We Love. Utterly ridiculous and overblown but how I love it. And what a soundtrack - man, I could listen to The Jazz Singer at any time.

Neil has one of the best voices in the business and I look forward to continuing to listen to him forever more. In my blue jeans. Come July I shall be bowing at the Neil altar at the O2 and this time I am taking my dad. It's gonna be emotional.

I leave you with You Don't Bring Me Flowers because I didn't include it in my top 10. Naturally it is in there really, if I made the list tomorrow, it would be included. Check out Babs jumpsuit - on trend baby! And Neil looks hot. Everything about this is divine. Enjoy!